Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit
a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies,
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't jump or shout about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
--- Maya Angelou,
Phenomenal Woman
All About Me
My name is Tequila Sunset, 21 years of age, and that's just all that I can tell you about my real identity.
Of course you can always wait for my picture here,
if you're patient enough. Once you read me through my posts though, I think you would know me more than most of my common friends would ever
find out about me all these years. I have bared myself here, poured my heart, ranted, and whined.
I long for my Honey's kiss,
but hmmm... nah! *evil grin*
I luuv chocolates and I use food for comfort. And that's attested by my gaining 7 pounds and 2 more inches in waistline.
I like starting projects but I could not seem to find a way to finish them.
I am a big procastinator and I have a lot of
whims. Not that I'm not doing anything to better myself everyday.
I am a soul searcher and trouble finder. It is not so much as me being a skirmisher, it's more because of my strong personality and even more sharper wit.
This is not ego-tripping, this is but the truth.
My joys are simple. All I need is someone to love me truly, with no hangups nor prior commitments. I love cuddles and hugs.
Even in our worst fights, he has always kept his tongue in check. The closest to a hurt word he has ever said to me was that, "has lost respect" for me.
But as to any curse word: zero.
Any degrading label: zero.
He's always tried to say something positive about things, and if he can't say anything nice, he'd rather go mum. If only I could do the same...
So yup--- even if I don't say this much often and even if he may not believe me this much--- I have always been proud of him and have always believed that he has so much talent, intelligence, and skill in him.
Honey, if you're reading this right now: May you keep the faith in yourself, so that you can better yourself, even if I may not be around to share or benefit from it. I'll already happy if I were able to contribute or encourage you to go on conquering the world in my simple small ways.
In the literal sense, oh yes, Honey does that very very well.
But talking about the talk that he talks, it seems... blank. Why do I feel this way? After all these years of suffering, of waiting for him to say the things that he has at last said, of hoping that he'd at least show appreciation for the things that I had done for him, of wishing that he'll remember the good times we've had, and to actually want to repeat those moments...
It just seems all too good. For the first time, I didn't have to do anything so that he'd talk about himself. Surprisingly, he seems willing enough to tell me the little details of his current life. He was even quite chatty in trying to talk about "us", our "relationship", and the "future".
I felt like he was just giving me what I've wanted. And that it was not because of his own volition or need to share those things to me. I almost felt a desperation in him.
But why? Why does he need me so suddenly? Because I'm not that available for him now?
I just met my Honey yesterday and what shouldn't happen, happened. I was about to say 'unexpected', but that would have been half the truth, for in reality, I did assume meeting him again would end up in a motel bed once more.
He asked me if I felt guilty. And for some reason, I don't quite know how to answer him. All I know is that I would hurt if Bebeh would do the same thing to me. But I guess this pathetic reasoning of mine is more inclined to the fact that there wasn't much of an emotional attachment on my part, but more like my need for physical connection, for friendship.
I know, it's stupid of me to say that that meeting was for the friendship. But it is, and I could say that with at least 70% truth. Meeting him again and doing it with him even concretized what I have already known. That it is over.
If I were to chose right now as to who I'd pick, I'd go for my present imperfect man than be with my former better-than-better guy.
My current relationship is one founded in commitment and duty. One of friendship and faith. Of family, security and stability.
I don't have any need for a great love anymore. I have reached the peak of that and I feel truly blessed to have experienced it in this lifetime but it doesn't necessarily mean that I would like to go back there again if it would equate to so much aggravation, suffering, and hurt all around me.
What Bebe wouldn't know won't hurt him. And so applies to me, too. I'd rather be blind.